@foreverdirt those are all very good points, thank you for your message! i have been pondering what it would mean to be single and outside of devastation i think it would look like expressing myself more fully. there is some guilt in the idea of dressing more provocatively or modifying my body, i think because it's been associated with not respecting the people around me by my partner (and the culture i grew up in as well). and im struggling with that because that's not my values but it's also uncomfortable to disagree with my partner about that. and my partner is very vocal about the fact that he does not want to change. it's hard because i get that we don't have control over what we are attracted to and culturally okay with, but it's also stifling to me...so is this just compatability?? mostly rhetorical question but if you have answers im all ears

@pomegranateseeds that makes a lot of sense and it does make me wonder why these issues feel so intertwined to me. i think you're right though, i should be focusing on my feelings about my partner first and then my sexuality. or at least the two of them separately from each other.

if u don't mind me asking, how do you feel like your identity meshes with your relationship? i struggle a LOT with this, and i think it's partially because my partner struggles with something so central to me also representing the potential of us not being together. but it's also partially that bi girls with boyfriends are a punchline to a lot of the community. you dont have to respond ofc but i was curious